This article is also posted on The Coaches Toolbox
The BIG TIME is not a place; it’s the state of your heart. It’s not something you get; it’s something you become.
Book Notes by Bert DeSalvo
Each one of the concepts is like a game piece, and when we move them with a purpose, THE BIG TIME will suddenly appear. Just knowing about them has no real pay value. The key is in understanding and believing in them, for this is what motivates us to put them all together and use them.
**The BIG TIME is not something you get – it’s something you become.
The put-up game, just like a football game, takes practice – the right kind of practice. Put-ups, just like anything else, have to be learned; they have to become habit – they don’t just happen. Can be verbal, thumbs up, high five, hug, nod, smile, notes, etc. Put-downs are all around us and we can become involved in them just by association. This game actually reflects a person’s own self-centeredness and inadequacies without his even being aware of it. It can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy: By putting others down, we end up putting ourselves down. Criticism and negative put-downs become steel habits which can turn into cynicism.
It starts with those innermost feeling in your heart that actually transforms your mind. This in turn affects your actions, and it makes all the difference in the world in the way you live each day of your life, regardless of your passion.
The BIG TIME is not a place; it’s the state of your heart. It’s not something you get; it’s something you become.
Many people in our society get caught up in “#1 or No One” mindset
“A mindset of this type sees only the outcome as important – the process has to be endured.”
– Compare themselves to others
– Always have to prove themselves superior to feel secure and successful
– Tension and pressure are often present
– Fear of failure is their primary motivator
If all we do is endure or tolerate the trip to a so-called destination, we’ve really missed the boat. A better way to put it is: We’re on the boat, but we are seasick most of the time.
Potential – ‘ I can be’ zone
Performance – ‘I am’ zone
DO THESE TO CLOSE THE “GAP”!
G = Goal-sets that motivate and challenge us
A = Attitude which is our self-fulfilling prophecy for whether we think we can or think we can’t, we’re usually right
P = Perseverance which develops mental toughness and builds our character
True fulfillment of the competitive experience: bringing out the best in ourselves and others. That’s what MTBTWYA is all about.
Three-Sided Coin
The EDGE is what makes the difference in your performance in any walk of life.
Side 1 – “Best”
– Being the best
– Comparison game,
– Lose ‘the edge’ on this side
Side 2 – “Doing our best”
– Focus on ourselves
– Not concerned with winning,
– “Aim before we fire”
Side 3 – “Giving it our best shot”
– When we concentrate on giving it our best shot, we just reload and keep aiming and firing, while adjusting and adapting ourselves to each changing situation. “When we really learn to enjoy the process of giving it our BEST SHOT in all that we do – we raise the chances of DOING OUR BEST more often. This can directly result in our BEING THE BEST some of the time. That’s what the three-sided coin is all about.
Success Road is based on the trip and the quality of living, not on the destination. It doesn’t focus on the regrets of yesterday or the fears of tomorrow but on the moment-by-moment, day-by-day trip that exposes the excitement and joy in the natural highs of many ordinary things in our daily life.
IMPORTANT TO HAVE GOALS, BUT CAN CHANGE THEM DURING THE TRIP
The goal is not at the end of the story: the goal is the road.
ADJUSTING – ADAPTING – ADVENTURING
HAVE A GOOD DAY – Thermometer – Affected by external changes no control
LEARN TO ‘MAKE IT A GOOD DAY – Thermostat – We set the dial We control it!
This shows what happens when you feel good about yourself – you are willing to take some risks and give it your best shot in all that you do.”
Baseball hitting percentage analogy:
.250 vs. .330 just a 1 hit difference per week for 162 games
The longer they play, the bigger that gap gets.
With concentrated focus we can get that one one extra effort, one extra struggle, one extra anything – and up goes our average.
Sharing pride vs. Selfish pride
Sharing pride – “It’s a special quality that brings out that inner drive and motivates us to give the extra effort to make things happen. This creates an atmosphere of confidence that is contagious.
MAGIC – “Make a Greater Individual Commitment”
Character: Our Best Piece of Equipment
3 forms of Motivation
1. Fear – “The floggings will continue until morale improves.”
a. Produces quick results but soon loses its effectiveness
b. Motivates from outside rather than from withing
2. Incentive – “Carrot on the stick”
a. Produces but eventually mediocrity will set in when people are doing
the right things for the wrong reasons
3. Love – Strongest form of motivation; Genuine unselfish love; No fear – Brings out the best in ourselves. The true joy of having is in SHARING.
When you do Make The Big Time Where You Are – IT’S NOT A PLACE, IT’S NOT THE STATE OF YOUR MIND – IT’S THE STATE OF YOUR HEART.”